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Here I will share some of my favorite recipes! All are yummy if prepared correctly. Bon Appetit!
Lop Chong and Vegetables
Most Americans are unaware of Lop Chong-the sweet, hard-cured sausages that get millions of Chinese through harsh
winters. These sausages are so dry-cured that they will keep unopened at room temperature for months, and opened (refrigerated)
for as much as a month. They still must be cooked, though, no matter how much they look like a beef stick. (BTW, these
sausages have NEVER been able to stay in my house anywhere near a month. They get eaten up. Fast.)
You will need:
1 pkg Lop Chong (go to any Asian grocery and ask.) I like the Kam Yen Jan brand. It's in a red and white
package.
3 carrots
1 head Bok Choy
1 BIG onion
2-4 cloves garlic (or more, if you wish)
any relatively mild stir-fry sauce. Sun-Bird's Chow Mein sauce mix works very well for this. Steer clear of richly-flavored
(like Beef & Broccoli) or spicy (anything that says Kung Pao or Szechwan) sauces that might cover up the magnificent
flavor of the sausages.
Vegetable oil
Before you start:
Open Lop Chong, decide how much of it to use. I usually get 2 big stir-fries worth out of one package. Take selected
quantity, slice diagonally into 1/4 slices(the same way you will slice the carrots). Refrigerate whatever Lop Chong remains
in pkg.
Peel carrots, slice diagonally so you get a lot of oval-shaped slices
Peel onion, dice
Strip leaves from Bok Choy, separate stalks, cut into bite-size pieces. Discard leaves.
Peel and smash garlic
Stir sauce mix of choice into the required amount of water, soy sauce, whatever. Have all prep work done before you even
approach the stove, because it's a pain in the ass to try to stir-fry and slice veggies or create a sauce at the same time.
Have all cutting, peeling, slicing, mixing, etc. done first. Then, to the stove!
Place a wok over medium-high heat. When wok is hot, add 2-3 Tbsp oil. When oil is hot but not quite smoking, add 1 clove
smashed garlic. Fry until golden, remove if desired.
Add sliced Lop Chong, stir-fry 3-4 minutes or until done, stirring constantly. Remove Lop Chong and drain, place
aside
Replenish oil in wok, when hot, add remaining smashed garlic. Stir-fry until golden, remove if desired.
Add carrots to garlicky oil, stir-fry 1 minute
Add onion and Bok Choy, stir-fry 2 minutes or until onions become clear and other veggies are tender-crisp.
Return Lop Chong to veggie mixture, add sauce, pouring sauce mixture around edge of wok to distrbute well. Stir-fry,
stirring VERY WELL, for another minute or until sauce bubbles and thickens.
Ladle over rice, chow mein noodles, or lo mein noodles. Goes very nicely with an egg roll, some wasabi, and hot green
tea. (Don't do the hot tea in the summertime, though) This is YUMMY YUMMY GOOD! But then if it wasn't, I wouldn't have put
it on here. Enjoy!
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Tea-Smoked Chicken
This is a modernized variation on an ancient Chinese recipe for duck. I despise duck,
but if you like it, this recipe will work well. I keep threatening to try this process on beef or pork, but I haven't
yet.
you will need:
a large (14-16 in.) wok with a ring-stand (or "fire ring") and a good-fitting
lid
a steamer rack or something like it that lays in the wok 2 inches or so above
the bottom
a big piece of aluminum foil
1/3 cup of each: uncooked white rice, brown sugar, and black tea leaves (Lipton,
Luzianne, Tetley-hell, use Price-Saver. You're gonna burn it anyway...)
A FAN TO PUT IN THE WINDOW NEAREST THE STOVE. This is VERY VERY VERY important. If
you don't use a fan in the window nearest the stove, YOU WILL SMOKE YOURSELF OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. Turn on the little stove-ventilation
fan, too, if your kitchen has one.
The Bird - try your best not to damage the skin!!
you will need:
1 whole chicken, 3-4 lbs
a couple large heads of garlic-pick out the ones with the biggest individual cloves
1 medium onion, any type
salt, pepper
Rinse chicken, pat as dry as you can get it
Peel several (6-10) large garlic cloves-take 3 BIG ones and cut them into very thick,
chunky pieces
Slide a long, thin knife up under the skin on the breast, making a place for you
to shove 6-8 of your thick, chunky garlic pieces. When you get the garlic chunks up under the breast skin, it
should look knobby, like a Klingon's head. These large chunks will make little air spaces under the skin, letting the smoke
reach the meat. Put a couple of whole garlic cloves in the space inside the skin (between the body and thigh), and put
the rest of the garlic here and there inside the body cavity. Peel the onion, leave whole, and shove up chicken's ass.
Sprinkle salt and pepper all over chicken.
The Process
Mix the 1/3 cup uncooked rice, 1/3 cup brown sugar, and 1/3 cup tea leaves.
Line the wok with aluminum foil, and place the tea mixture in the bottom (on the foil). Place the steamer rack (or equivalent)
1 inch or so above tea mixture. Place prepared chicken on steamer rack, cover wok tightly. Turn heat to high
for 10 minutes. The wok will smoke like hell. DO NOT lift the cover or you will get a FIRE. After the 10 minutes of
high heat, turn the heat to medium for 10-12 minutes. The smoke should be subsiding by this point. After the 10-12 minutes
of medium heat, turn stove off. Let cool for 10-15 minutes, move bird to roaster rack, shove a meat thermometer into the inner
thigh, and roast at 350 degrees until done. NOTE: Be VERY careful when moving the bird to the roaster rack-the smoking
process partially cooks the skin, and it will tear easily.
When you remove the smoked, roasted bird from the oven, it will be a rich, dark,
dark brown, with the most delicious crispy skin imaginable. Make sure everybody gets a piece of garlic and some of the
onion from inside the bird. This recipe is kind of a pain in the ass, but it is SOOOOOO delicious, when you bite into
this VERY juicy, VERY smoky meat, you will realize it is worth the trouble. BIG TIME.
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Potatoes and Eggs
This is an Italian potato-and-egg frittata. It is a very simple, basic recipe that is a positively
elegant thing to do with leftovers. SINGLE GUYS WILL THANK ME FOR THIS RECIPE A THOUSAND TIMES OVER.
you will need:
a large (12") cast iron skillet
potatoes (fresh cut, frozen steak fries, or even leftover steak fries from Denny's-any will work.
1/4 cup of olive oil
1/2 dozen eggs
1 small can black olives (optional)
2-3 fresh mushrooms, sliced (optional)
some sort of meat (Italian sausage, crumbled bacon, a leftover grilled steak cut into bite-size pieces,
pepperoni, whatever-BE CREATIVE!)
a splash of milk
basil, oregano, salt, pepper
Freshly grated Parmesan
mozzarella cheese (like for pizza)
2-3 cloves garlic
Place the cast-iron skillet on the stove. Add the 1/4 cup olive oil, smash your garlic, and fry the garlic
over medium heat until it begins to brown. Remove the garlic if you wish (I usually don't). Now you have garlicky olive
oil.
Make a cast-iron skillet of fries, either cooking them done if starting fresh, or just reheat them well
if using leftovers. While the fries are cooking, beat 1/2 dozen eggs in a large bowl with a splash of milk (like scrambled
eggs). Here is where to add whatever you're going to-the black olives, the meat, mushrooms, basil, oregano, salt,
pepper (don't oversalt, but don't be bashful with the salt either-after all, this is potatoes and eggs (both of which need
salt by their natures). Add 1/3 cup or so of the parmesan, stirring all this constantly. When the fries are just
a little more done than you would ordinarily want them, dump the egg-milk-olive-parmesan-whatever mixture in there with them.
Push this around with a spatula until the egg begins to set, then get the mozzarella, cheese the bejeezus out of the whole
thing, and pop it under the broiler until it gets real pretty (bubbly and golden brown). Take it out, let cool a few
minutes, and cut into pie wedges. You should have a potato-egg-cheese pie. Dip the wedges into marinara (or pizza)
sauce. This kicks ass with beer.
NOTE: for variety, go to the deli and get 1/2 lb or so of thinly sliced provolone-at the cheese stage, arrange
the slices so they cover everything, sprinkle some mozzarella (and some Parmesan, if you wish), and broil as above.
As I said above, this KICKS ASS with beer.
Cajun Chicken Livers
requested by Smooth Plezing
you will need:
1 bucket of chicken livers
1 pack of bacon (the smokier the better)
1 big onion
several (5-8, depending on size) cloves of garlic (or more if you like-I'm a bad garlic junkie. I'd almost
put garlic on a sundae...almost.
a large bowl of flour, which you have hit with salt, pepper, and a little (a teaspoon or so) dried tarragon
Open the pack of bacon, and take it out all together (don't separate the slices)-cut the bacon in half so
that instead of 12 long slices, you have 24 short ones. Now separate the slices, and fry as you would any bacon.
While the bacon is frying, peel and thinly slice the big onion and the garlic. When the bacon is done,
remove it, but leave the grease. Separate the onion slices into rings, and dump the onions and garlic into the hot bacon
grease. Stir-fry until the onions are soft and starting to turn golden, then remove the onions and garlic, and put them
with the bacon. Now you have oniony, garlicky bacon grease. Coat the livers with the seasoned flour, and fry them
in the oniony, garlicky bacon grease. If there isn't enough bacon grease, add a little olive oil. When the livers
are done (not oozing anymore), dump the onion/garlic/bacon mixture back into the skillet, and stir-fry just a minute or so,
until everything is heated through. Deeeeeelicious. Goes well with English peas (Le Seuer is the BEST) or a salad.
NOTE: This is not the healthiest way to cook, but hooo boy is it GOOD. Just don't do this every
day, or you might pack up an artery.
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